LGBTQ+ Spotlights: Growing older, being LGBTQ+ and having served – The experiences of LGBTQ+ veterans in Wales

Growing older, being LGBTQ+ and having served: The experiences of LGBTQ+ veterans in Wales

Chris Adams, Veteran Community Worker (VCW), Wales and Northern Ireland, Fighting with Pride

For many people, growing older brings challenges that can affect their independence, wellbeing and quality of life. For older LGBTQ+ veterans, these experiences can be shaped by an additional layer of complexity: the lasting impact of military service, alongside a lifetime of navigating discrimination, stigma and, for some, the need to conceal who they are.

As a Veteran Community Worker for Fighting With Pride in Wales, I support LGBTQ+ veterans, serving personnel and reservists. Through this work, I have gained an insight into some of the challenges faced by older LGBTQ+ veterans and the importance of ensuring that services understand their experiences.

These issues are not simply part of the past. They can continue to affect people’s financial security, physical and emotional wellbeing, social connections and confidence in accessing support.

The Gay Ban: a history that still affects veterans today

To understand the experiences of many older LGBTQ+ veterans, we need to acknowledge the UK Armed Forces’ historic “Gay Ban”, which remained in place until January 2000.

Although the Sexual Offences Act 1967 decriminalised certain consensual same-sex acts between men in private in England and Wales, this change did not extend to the Armed Forces. LGBTQ+ personnel, or those perceived to be LGBTQ+, could be investigated, dismissed or forced to leave because of their identity. Some experienced intrusive questioning, bullying, harassment and disciplinary action, while others felt unable to continue serving under the pressure of concealing who they were.

The consequences could extend far beyond military careers. Being forced out of a job could affect financial security, relationships, housing and a person’s sense of identity and belonging. Experiences of investigation, humiliation and rejection could also leave lasting emotional scars. The Government has since acknowledged the injustice of the ban and apologised to those affected.

The lifting of the ban was an important change, but it did not automatically undo the harm. For some veterans, the impact remains part of their lives today. Someone who spent years hiding their sexuality to protect their career or personal safety may understandably find it difficult to trust services or disclose personal information.

The lasting impact of military service

Military service can have a lifelong impact on physical and emotional health. Some veterans experience injuries, long-term health conditions or trauma connected to their service. As people grow older, these difficulties can become more complicated to manage.

For LGBTQ+ veterans, these experiences may be compounded by historic discrimination. Seeking support can bring back memories of a time when being open about their identity carried serious consequences.

Military training can also place a strong emphasis on self-reliance, resilience and getting on with the job. While these qualities can be valuable, they may make it difficult for some veterans to recognise when they need help or feel comfortable asking for it. Embarrassment, concerns about being perceived as weak, and uncertainty about where to turn can all become barriers.

Services need to recognise these challenges and provide welcoming, accessible routes into support without judgement.

Financial pressures and physical health

Financial insecurity affects many older people, and veterans are not immune to these pressures. The cost of living, housing expenses and the financial implications of long-term health conditions can all affect someone’s ability to maintain a secure later life.

For LGBTQ+ veterans who experienced discrimination during their service or in civilian employment, there may be additional circumstances that have affected their financial security. Being forced to leave a career can have consequences that continue for decades.

Physical health is another important consideration. Some veterans live with service-related injuries or conditions that affect their mobility, independence and ability to carry out everyday activities. As they get older, suitable housing, accessible transport and appropriate health and social care can become increasingly important.

Support must recognise the whole person, rather than treating someone’s age, veteran status, sexuality or gender identity as separate and unrelated aspects of their life.

The challenge of belonging

Older LGBTQ+ veterans can find themselves navigating prejudice from more than one direction. Some people may hold discriminatory attitudes towards LGBTQ+ people, while others have negative perceptions of those who have served in the Armed Forces. This can leave individuals feeling that they do not fully belong in either community.

For those who grew up when being LGBTQ+ was heavily stigmatised, coming out may have involved considerable courage and personal sacrifice. Building a life in which they could be open about their identity may have taken many years.

It is therefore concerning when older LGBTQ+ people feel they must conceal their identity again to feel safe or accepted.

Retirement accommodation: going back into the closet

One issue raised with me by veterans is the concern about finding suitable retirement accommodation and whether they will be accepted for who they are.

Moving into residential or retirement accommodation can be a significant transition. People may be leaving a familiar home, becoming more reliant on others and entering a close-knit community where they have less control over their surroundings.

For LGBTQ+ veterans, these concerns can be heightened by the fear of encountering discriminatory attitudes from other residents or those providing care and support.

Some older people have described the prospect as feeling like “going back into the closet”. After spending years working towards a life where they could be open about their identity, they fear having to hide it once again. Another phrase that has stayed with me is “the end of the rainbow”. It captures the sadness of feeling that, after overcoming so much to live authentically, later life might bring a return to secrecy and isolation.

These concerns should not be dismissed. For people who have experienced discrimination, the possibility of facing it again can be deeply unsettling. Even without a specific incident, the anticipation of hostility may influence decisions about where to live, what to disclose and whether to seek help.

Residential and retirement settings should be places where people feel safe, respected and able to maintain their identity. Nobody should have to choose between receiving the care they need and being open about who they are.

What needs to change?

Organisations supporting older people need to recognise the experiences of LGBTQ+ veterans and ensure their services are inclusive in practice, not simply in policy.

This means:

• Creating safe and welcoming services: Staff should understand the effects of historic discrimination and why someone may be reluctant to disclose their identity or ask for help.
• Improving access to support: Clear, accessible advice about financial assistance, housing, health and wellbeing services can help people understand their options and feel more confident seeking help.
• Supporting inclusive care settings: Providers should challenge discriminatory behaviour and create environments where residents can be themselves without fear of harassment or exclusion.
• Recognising individual experiences: LGBTQ+ veterans are not a uniform group. Their needs may differ according to sexuality, gender identity, disability, ethnicity, service history, location and personal circumstances.

Partnership working is also important. Organisations supporting older people, veterans and LGBTQ+ communities each bring valuable knowledge and experience. By working together, they can improve awareness, strengthen referral pathways and help ensure people are not left navigating complex systems alone.

A later life lived with dignity

Older LGBTQ+ veterans have contributed to their communities and country, often while facing circumstances that are not widely understood or acknowledged. Their experiences deserve recognition, and their needs should be considered when services are designed and delivered.

Through my work with Fighting With Pride, I want to help ensure that LGBTQ+ veterans in Wales know that support is available and that they do not have to face these challenges alone. We can also help veterans understand the support available in recognition of the historic injustice of the ban.

Growing older should not mean returning to a life of secrecy. Everyone deserves to feel safe, respected and valued in later life.

The challenge for organisations and services is to listen to older LGBTQ+ veterans, understand the experiences they bring with them, and create communities and services where they can live openly and with dignity.